I Need You
by Baylee Shadow
Summary: This was it. The final Trial. Cas had almost closed the Gates of Heaven...


I Need You

This was it, the final trial. Cas had almost done it. The Gates were almost closed. All he had to do now was complete the third trial. He frowns, remembering Metatron's exact words.

"_The Gates of Heaven can only be sealed by the Righteous Man."_

Metatron had gone on to explain that only the Righteous Man could perform the final spell to banish all angels to Heaven and close the Gates behind them. At these words Cas' heart had stopped. Dean had to close the Gates. And once he did he would never be able to see him or Sam again. Ever. And so Cas was conflicted; he didn't know what to do. He had to close Heaven. Otherwise angels like Naomi would spill their wars onto Earth and call the loss of life 'collateral damage'. He couldn't allow that to happen. But on the other hand it would mean leaving Earth forever. Leaving Dean.

_Hey, uh Cas? It's Sam…_ the younger Winchester's voice floated through Cas's head. _Look man, I don't know what's happened between you and Dean but you kinda just disappeared. Are you alright? Has something happened?_

Cas froze he had just gotten up and left without a word of goodbye. Again. After a quick explanation to Metatron Cas appeared in the bunker with a rustle of feathers.

"Cas." Sam said, a small smile on his face.

Dean glanced up in surprise, glaring. "Decided to join us again." He snapped.

Cas purses his lips. "Metatron turned up." He said, attempting to explain.

Before Dean could retort Sam interrupted him. "And? What'd he say?"

"That I have to close the Gates of Heaven."

Even Dean looked up in shock. "You can do that?" he asked, momentarily forgetting that he was mad at Cas.

"Yes." Castiel replied. "There are trials."

"Of course." Dean muttered. "Let me guess, three of them?"

"Yes. I have completed two." The angel said.

Sam's mouth curled upwards in a grim smile. "We're on par then."

Castiel frowns momentarily. "I suppose we are. Is there any more news on your trial, Sam?"

Sam nods. "Yeah. We actually have a demon in our dungeon we were going to attempt to cure her tonight."

"Good." Cas answered softly.

"What do you want?" Dean asked curtly. "We are a little busy here."

His words hurt Cas. He only ever wanted to help. "The third trial." He began. The angel stopped and cleared his throat. "_The Gates of Heaven can only be sealed by the Righteous Man_." He quoted looking steadily at Dean.

Dean raised an eyebrow, "And?"

"I need your help, Dean." Cas said, a little confused. Hadn't he made it clear that Dean had to perform the final trial?

Dean sighed. He was tempted to refuse but Sam was glaring at him. "Okay, fine." He huffed. "What do I have to do?"

"Metatron can explain." Cas replied, stepping forward. "I can take us to him."

Dean shook his head. "No way, man. We're driving." He glanced over at Sam. "You coming?"

Sam paused. "No." he said softly. "I'm gonna stay here. Try and cure that demon." Dean opened his mouth to argue but Sam continued. "Look, Dean. This might be our only chance for this. Everything's set up and ready. And you have to go with Cas. Closing Heaven, don't tell me that's not a good thing too."

Dean frowned. "Fine." He growls before grabbing his jacket and heading out of the 'bat cave'. "Watch yourself, Sammy." He said before waving a quick goodbye and leading Cas outside. "Where are we going?" he asked gruffly.

"It would be easier if I took us." Cas argued but a look from Dean silenced him on the matter and he dutifully told the hunter Metatron's location before climbing into the impala.

The drive that followed was probably the most awkward in all of history. Dean refused to talk, instead he turned the radio up way to loud, blasting classic rock all trip. When they finally arrived Dean walked past Cas barely glancing at him, and burst into the motel room.

"Metatron." He said, greeting the angel with a nod.

"Dean." Metatron replied. "Sit."

Dean did so. "Cas says I gotta complete the last trial?"

Metatron nodded. "Yes. There is a spell that can only be completed by the Righteous Man. Castiel informs me that this is you." He paused, waiting for Dean's nod before continuing. "I shall tell you the spell shortly. But I must warn you; once you complete it Heaven will be closed off. All the angels will be trapped upstairs as you put it."

Dean almost glanced over to Cas but he merely continued to look at Metatron. "All of them?"

"All of them."

Dean nods. "I'll do it."

Cas froze. That was it. Dean was going to close the Gates of Heaven, trapping every angel inside. Including Cas. He had to fight the urge to speak up, to ask Dean why he didn't seem to care. What did he have to do to make it up to the hunter? Unable to face all of it Cas spun around and walked out of the room.

So that was it. Dean was going to shut Heaven's Gates and trap Castiel inside. Dean hadn't even looked at Cas before making his decision. Cas scowled, why did this matter so much to him? Perhaps he thought that their 'profound bond' meant something. But obviously it didn't. Maybe this was for the best, then. Dean didn't want him around, that much was clear. The hunter was angry with him. Cas didn't blame him. He had vanished without a word, _again_. He had nearly killed Dean. The angel sighed wearily; maybe it was time to go home...

Dean gritted his teeth and forced himself to pay attention to Metatron. At first, he had tried to remember everything but soon caved and began to scribble every one of the angel's words down on paper. This spell was complicated. And for some unknown reason, only he could perform it. It always seemed to come down to him, didn't it? The Righteous Man. He had started the freakin' apocalypse and then prevented it from occurring. And now he was the only one who could close the Gates of Heaven; while his little brother was fighting to do the same to Hell. This all seemed a little too neat to Dean. But hey, maybe they deserved a lucky break. And to be honest, this wasn't that easy. Sammy was attempting to cure a freakin' demon, and this spell was making less and less sense as it went on.

Finally, Metatron stopped. The angel glanced up at Dean. "Did you get all that down?"

Dean nodded and scrawled down the last few words. "Yeah." He sighed, "Man, this looks complicated."

Metatron nodded, "It is. But I can help. I've already collected the ingredients."

Dean raised an eyebrow, slightly impressed. "Good." He replied. "What now?"

Metatron almost rolled his eyes. "Were you listening to a word I said?" he snapped. "Thank God you wrote it all down." The angel actually rolled his eyes this time.

It wasn't long before Dean and Metatron were standing around an almost completed spell. There was a bronze bowl sitting in the middle of the table, underneath it were numerous symbols varying from Enochian to age old Greek. Dean didn't know half the stuff that was in the bowl, but at the moment he didn't care. If it would slam the Gates on those feathery bastards then it was worth it.

Speaking of feathery bastards, Metatron finally stood back from the table and glanced over to Dean. "There. It's all yours." He stated. "You sure you know what to do?"

Dean nodded once, "You going somewhere?"

"Heaven." Metatron replied simply. "I'd rather go now, while I have a choice, than be forcibly dragged back by this spell." The angel grimaced, "It would be excruciating."

Dean frowned, another layer of guilt settling over him. Of course, if it were just the feathery bastards he wouldn't care. But Cas… the hunter scowled, no. Cas had betrayed him again. Left him again. Dean shrugged nonchalantly, pushing those thoughts aside. "Okay." He turned away from the angel, already putting him out of his mind. There was a soft rustle of feathers and Dean was alone. He stepped closer to the table, running his eyes once again over the instructions before him. Dean took a deep breath and began the spell.

Castiel was sitting in an empty park, gazing at the midnight sky. A cool breeze blew over him, the ends of his coat flapping around his ankles. He was going to miss that coat. He was going to miss this vessel. Jimmy had given his life, his family. Everything. He literally went through Hell before his soul finally slipped away to Heaven.

Cas sighs, his eyes fixed on the moon hanging low in the sky. He would miss the moon. There were moons in Heaven; every individual paradise had a night sky, but none could capture the cold beauty of Earth's moon. Heaven would never be able to replicate Earth. The sheer messiness of human life. The wonder of it all. Castiel would miss all of it. The brilliance of humans. What they have managed to create. All of it.

But most of all, he would miss Dean. His smile, his laugh, his bright green eyes. The way his hair stuck up at a slightly odd angle. The hunter's jacket, his boots, the way his voice got all gruff when he was angry. How overprotective he was. His love for Classic Rock. The glimpses of emotion that Cas could read from the slightest of movements. How Dean would just let go sometimes, and let Cas see straight to his soul. He would miss that soul. The pure goodness of it. It shone so bright. One of the brightest souls he had ever seen. It had led him to it in Hell. It held him in place even now.

It hit Cas, like a punch to the gut. He could never leave Dean. Especially not like this; when everything remained unresolved. He needed him. Needed his hunter. His Angel of Humanity.

At that very moment Cas doubled over in pain. He could feel his very being begin to warp, dragging him upwards. The spell. Dean had started. Cas hissed, breathing in sharply. He was fighting so hard to stay. He had to stay. A quiet calm settled over the angel. He knew what he had to do. Concentrating fiercely, Cas focused on his grace. It light up the park, shining brighter than the nearly full moon above him. Beams of light streamed from his eyes, a soft glow emitting from his torso. Castiel remained like that, caught in a limbo. He could feel his grace writhing within him, wanting to return to Heaven. But he couldn't go back. With an anguished cry Castiel began to rip his grace out, severing it from his mind. Pain lanced through him as he began to fall. But he kept going. For Dean. He couldn't leave Dean. He screamed again, the sound reverberating through the trees, as he ripped out the last connection to his grace. There was a soft whooshing noise and Cas saw a glimpse of pure white light fly over his head before the pain grew too intense. His eyes fluttered shut and the former angel fell, slumped against the bench.

It was done. Dean sighed and wiped a thin layer of sweat from his forehead. He quickly wrapped up the incision across his wrist, stemming the flow of blood. He was about to start packing up the remains of the spell when a shrieking wail assaults his ears. He dropped the bowl and clampped both hands to his head in a futile attempt to block out the sound. It was so sad. The noise. It echoed with an eternity of sorrow. It almost brought tears to the hunter's eyes. But then it was gone. Dean stood up, feeling strangely empty. So that was it. All the angels were gone, trapped inside the Pearly Gates. You would think he'd feel happy, elated, or at least accomplished. After all, he had slammed the gates on those feathery bastards. But for some reason all he felt was empty. And he didn't know why. Well, Dean probably did know why he just wasn't ready to admit it.

Sighing slightly Dean began to clean up. He was just about finished and ready to walk out of the motel room when the door opened. He glanced up worriedly, drawing his gun. No one knew he was here. The door swung open and Dean nearly dropped his gun in surprise. _Cas_. The angel stood in the doorway, haggard and bloody. He glanced up at Dean, an almost pleading look in his eyes.

"Dean." He managed to croak, stumbling slightly.

Dean rushed to his side, wrapping an arm around his waist. He was horrified to feel blood drenching the back of Cas' coat. "What the hell happened, man?" he asked, leading Cas to a chair and sitting him down. Castiel didn't reply. Dean frowned in concern, stripping Cas of his coat, jacket and shirt. The hunter gasped out loud at the sight before him. Castiel had two long slits running down his shoulder blades, and around them were the scorch marks of a pair of wings. "Oh, Cas." Dean murmured softly. His fingers brushed lightly across the scorched skin, earning a hiss and wince from Cas. Murmuring a hurried apology Dean moved across to his duffel bag and pulled out bandages and an antiseptic cream. "This is gonna hurt like a bitch." He warned. Cas nodded once, gripping the arms of the chair tightly. Gritting his teeth, Dean began to run the open wounds with the cream.

Cas tried not to cry out, but it hurt too much. A muffled moan began at the base of his throat before becoming a strangled cry of pain. Tears ran down his face, the first he had ever shed.

Dean tried to be careful, he winced in sympathy at Cas' cries, murmuring comforting nonsense as he worked. He quickly bandaged the wounds, wrapping the cloth around Castiel's torso tightly. When he was done Dean hurried around to face Cas.

"Hey, hey, hey. Look at me, man. What happened?"

Castiel averted his gaze and slowly got to his feet. He paced the length of the room, ending up at the window. He gazed up at the sky, a deep sorrow in his eyes.

Dean frowned and walked over to him. "You gotta talk to me, man." He said softly.

Castiel let out a strangled sob. The gap where his wings used to be aching. Dean reached out and placed a tentative hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Cas. It's alright." The hunter's concern grew as he noticed the tears. With his free hand Dean cupped Cas' face, bringing his blue eyes around to meet his own. Absentmindedly Dean's thumb wiped away the tears. "C'mon, man. Talk to me."

Castiel sighed, "I fell." he said, biting his lip.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, worry clear in his voice. "How?"

"I ripped out my grace."

Dean stared at Cas in shock. "Why?"

Castiel stared at Dean, really stared at him. Memorizing every feature; the exact number of freckles across his nose, the way his eyes glinted hazel-green in the motel light, the tiny crinkles around his eyes, everything. "Because," he took a deep breath, never once breaking eye contact. "I need you, Dean."

Dean stared at him in shock, letting the words sink in. _I need you, Dean._ Suddenly both his hands were on Cas' cheeks. He pulled him forward and smashed their lips together. It was desperate and messy. They clung to each other, Cas' arms encircling Dean's waist. But it was perfect. It felt like days until the broke apart, and perhaps it was, but Dean smiled and rested his forehead against Cas'.

"I need you too, Cas."


End file.
